MARK

I was born and raised in Bellingen NSW where my family has a long history dating back to the 1870s. Growing up in such a picturesque country town I have fond memories of exploring the forested hills and various creeks and rivers, camping, and swimming.

My imagination was my best friend. I have always been fascinated by sci-fi, high fantasy, and especially martial arts. Although I don't formally train anymore, martial arts remain one of my go-to modalities for self-care and well-being. I guess for me, I was attracted to the hero archetype and the idea that I could have the power to be someone special, someone who fought for a cause. Even at a young age I longed for meaning and purpose.

My journey with HIV began in 2019 when I was 40 years old. HIV came into my life as a result of being sexually assaulted. The sense of violation and the PTSD caused by this event shook me to my core. You see, for nearly 20 years I struggled with drug dependency, severe self-loathing, and very poor mental health. It was at this stage that I decided to undertake rehab and change my life. I wanted to see the fighting spirit I once had come back. Just four days before arriving in Toowoomba, QLD and rehab, I found out that I was HIV positive. In hindsight, I count myself lucky that for the next six months I lived in a therapeutic community where I had 24/7 access to all the care and support that I needed.

For me, becoming a person living with HIV (PLHIV) changed my life for the better. My diagnosis led me to make decisions to improve my wellbeing, discover my worth, and find meaning and purpose. Since completing rehab, I studied and gained a few diplomas before I began a career in the alcohol and other drug (AOD) sector which I absolutely love. I continue to study and I’m now working towards my first bachelor’s degree.

Immediately after rehab I engaged with Queensland Positive People (QPP) first as a client, before becoming a member of their Community Advisory Group (CAG) for two years. In 2022, I was invited to join the Board of QPP and was voted in during the 2022 AGM. QPP helped me to understand HIV and how I can actively contribute to the PLHIV community.

Stigma remains a major problem in society. Being HIV positive, gay, and having a past with drug use, I get how stigma feels and how it can cripple a person. Fear of discrimination is real and causes so much harm. And yet, more often than not stigma is the result of ignorance and misinformation. That’s why it so important for everyone to understand the significance of U=U, having an undetectable HIV viral load means that I cannot pass on HIV to another person.

To be clear, I can enjoy sex knowing I cannot pass HIV onto my partner. And it is my hope that my partner fully understands U=U. Imagine being rejected by someone because they fear you will pass HIV onto them? That’s stigma. A person who undertakes treatment and has an undetectable viral load, means HIV is untransmissible.

I liken treatment to being one pill a day away from a cure. It’s that simple. One pill, once a day. I take mine with my morning coffee. It’s a simple routine that works for me.

I get to share my story to my community here in regional Queensland. Every time that I do, most people I speak with don’t know that HIV is no longer a death sentence. They don’t even know the difference between HIV and AIDS, let alone that undetectable = untransmissible. The only way stigma will ever go away is with education. That takes people stepping up and speaking out. Sometimes it’s daunting to share and speak about HIV and U=U in regional area’s where it is often politically and socially conservative. However, I find that doing so is very rewarding. I can’t tell you how many times I have been thanked, applauded, and shown respect for having the courage to share.

I love being HIV positive and undetectable. Whilst this does not define me, it is part of who I am and it tells a story of hope and resilience, and one that I’m very proud of. I also have new friends and I’ve met and continue to meet the most wonderful people living with HIV from all walks of life. I’m part of an exciting and nurturing community because of my HIV status, and I wouldn’t change that for the world.

I liken the past few years to be that of the hero’s journey. I took to the dark depths of my soul as a purposeful warrior, I slayed the demons and dragons within, and I stepped into the light of a new life. Today I live a life where I get to give hope and support to others. Today I get to live out my childhood dreams. Each day there is the opportunity for me to be a hero to someone in need using my superpower, lived experience. Life is good. I just never would have expected life living with HIV in the 2020’s to be this amazing!